Eagles mailbag: Jalen Hurts' prison experience

Eagles mailbag: Jalen Hurts’ prison experience

In honor of one of the questions in this mail, I’m pulling a cliché: you have questions, we have answers.

What’s a pun for the name Jalen Hurt Who Hasn’t Been Rinsed To Death Yet? -Lonis

Using “It Hurts So Much” is just lazy now, which is kind of funny because Jalen hurts is so good right now. The expiration date for anything cool is when a corporate or, in this case, team social media account starts using something. The Eagles have used “Hurts so good” with “Slay so much it Hurts” which advocates getting a lot of kills, “hit ’em where it Hurts” which is just plain obvious, and “the truth hurts” which is a bad situation in which to find oneself. So we can remove them.

I think the only title, phrase, saying, idiom, expression, etc. who has ‘injured’ or ‘hurts’ who has not been and will not be done to death is ‘Everybody hurts’. This one feels safe because A) it doesn’t really make sense unless it says he’s throwing a TD to the entire starting lineup, but more importantly B) the line immediately calls Michael Stipe back taking three seconds a syllable to sing “everyone hurts” and, if you’re old enough to remember the music video, sitting in traffic. No one wants to remember sitting in traffic.

Not technically a question, but I’ll post a broader answer:

I think he’s the best assistant coach in Eagles history. I would rank the top 5 assistant coaches as follows:

1. Jeff Stoutland, 2013-present offensive line

I give Stoutland the top spot because he has both a peak with a Super Bowl ring and longevity because he’s on his third head coach and the offensive line is not a coaching position that has tend to have a high level of job security when there is a change of head coach. Look around the league for positional coaches who have been around much longer than their head coach and you’re probably looking for a running back or tight end coach. Stoutland continues to produce elite offensive line play and develop player after player. Looks like the only reason Jeff Stoutland will stop coaching the Eagles offensive line is because Jeff Stoutland decides he doesn’t want to be the Eagles offensive line coach.

2. Jim Johnson, defensive coordinator 1999-2008

If you want to argue that Johnson should have the top spot, you’ll get little resistance from me. Andy Reid goes to the Hall of Fame and is the only true QB coaching guru in the league, yet the best unit on his Eagles teams was defense. Johnson had some great players to work with, but he also got a rotation of support players. During his tenure, the Eagles blew linebackers, the defensive line was always in motion, and in four consecutive NFC Championship games from 2001-2004, he had four different starting secondaries. Change has never stopped Johnson.

3. Marion Campbell, defensive coordinator 1977-1982

Find a really good Eagles team and you’ll find a really good defense. When the Eagles went to the Super Bowl in 1980, Dick Vermeil, Ron Jaworski, Harold Carmichael and Wilbert Montgomery were the headliners, but their defense led the league in scoring. From 1977 to 1981, Marion Campbell had the Eagles top 10 in scoring defense and was No. 1 consecutively. It had a good core of players, but aside from Charlie Johnson and Bill Bergey, there were no stars. He just kept putting up really good defense after really good defense. As a head coach he was terrible, but as an assistant he was top notch.

4. John Harbaugh, special teams 1998-2006, defensive backs 2007

Andy Reid inherited Harbaugh and then spent eight years giving him an ever-changing cast of players and asking Harbaugh to give him a good special teams unit. And he did. In those eight seasons, eight different players have returned double-digit punts or kicks, not to mention player turnover in the coverage unit. If teams hadn’t been afraid to hire special teams coordinators as coaches, he would have been hired sooner, as evidenced by his hiring a year after coaching defensive backs.

5. Jon Gruden, Offensive Coordinator 1995-97

I could go a few ways for fifth place. I give it to Gruden because he could have done more with less than anyone in consideration here. He made the Eagles offense punch above his weight, in 1996 the Eagles were 9th in scoring, 10th in DVOA and 4th in passing yards despite being 12th in attempts, his QBs were Rodney Peete and Ty Detmer, they threw Chris Jones and Irving Fryar, 34. In 1997, Bobby Hoying threw for 11 touchdowns against 6 interceptions to end the season. It sounds ridiculous now, but heading into the 1998 season, he was seen as a promising potential starting QB. But Gruden had left to become the Raiders’ head coach in the offseason. Bobby Hoying never threw a TD for the rest of his career.

Honorable mentions: Jim Schwartz, who won the Super Bowl; Bud Carson, who had great defenses but also a ton of talent to work with and Buddy Ryan ahead of him on the depth chart; and Juan Castillo, who did a great job as an offensive line coach and a terrible job as a defensive coordinator. I will also point out that the Eagles have employed Sid Gillman, Wade Phillips, Dick LeBeau, Jeff Fisher, Tom Coughlin, Bill Callahan, Ron Rivera and Ted Marchibroda at various times in their coaching careers, all of whom have had success as coaches. assistant or leader. coaching careers.

How much Eagles gear is too much in a wedding? – Tyler R.

If you’re not going to be able to kiss your bride or groom, you’re wearing too much. Other than that, it’s your wedding, do what you want, though I’ll stay away from face paint.

If you want to go all out, here are some tips (don’t follow this advice):

-Getting married in the Jetro lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if this has already been done.

– Have your food and drinks like a tailgate, you’ll save money on a bartender by having a keg. In fact, if done right, it could be a pretty cool wedding. Shit, I’m crazy I didn’t think of that for mine.

– Walk down the aisle to the Eagles fight song, sung by everyone present.

-Instead of a bridal veil, opt for a headpiece with a full cage face mask.

-Ask the bridesmaids to wear Eagles varsity jackets like Princess Diana. Have groomsmen in singlets, if you have five groomsmen you can either go all offensive linemen or all skill position players.

-Have your wishes on an Andy Reid-sized game sheet, or have the best man or bridesmaid hold game cards like Chip Kelly used.

-The bouquet must be hung on the bride before being thrown.

-Ask the wedding celebrant to say “the time is yours” instead of “I pronounce you now…”

– Have a recording of Merrill Reese saying “THIS IS GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!” when the bride and groom (or bride and bride or groom and groom) kiss. Maybe for the right price he will officiate?

Seriously, midnight green would be a great accent color for a wedding.

Which Eagle would you like as a cornhole partner? – Tyler M.

I take Gardner Minshew for two reasons. First, you need a consistent, smooth, accurate arc throw to excel at cornhole. That’s the kind of passer Minshew is. He’s not going to try to pry into it.

But more importantly, when the Jaguars took Minshew in the 2019 draft… he was playing cornhole.

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